Tuesday, December 16, 2025
💬 In a few words:
Oh, sweetie, you won't believe this! FBI Director Kash Patel, with a killer still at large, released a podcast about his *love story*! Well, I never!
More details:
The Main Gossip: A 'Love Story' Amidst Chaos!
Oh, darlings, gather 'round! Have I got a bit of news for you that'll make your teacups rattle! It's about our very own FBI Director, Kash Patel. Can you imagine? The head of the Federal Bureau of Investigation!
Apparently, while the poor souls at Brown University are still reeling from that terrible shooting, and a dangerous person is still out there, our Director was busy… well, he was busy talking about his love story on a podcast with his girlfriend, Alexis Wilkins!
Katie Miller, the podcast host, even teased it with questions like “how do they make long distance work?” and “when is the engagement?” I mean, honestly!
Grandma's Sarcastic Reactions: Priorities, Sweetie, Priorities!
Heavens to Betsy! You'd think with all the important work they have, finding bad guys and all, he'd be a bit more… focused, wouldn't you?
A 'love story,' mind you! I mean, bless his heart, everyone deserves a little romance, but perhaps not when the entire country is watching for a fugitive!
It just goes to show, some folks have their priorities a little mixed up, don't they? Back in my day, we had actual emergencies, not podcast emergencies!
Clarifying What Actually Happened: The Ghastly Details
Now, hold on, let's get our facts straight, even if my blood pressure is rising! The tragic truth is that two lovely students, Ella Cook and MukhammadAziz Umurzokov, lost their lives in that dreadful Brown University shooting on Saturday night, and nine others were hurt.
The FBI is helping, of course, offering a hefty fifty-thousand-dollar reward for any tips on the individual who did this. And just hours after Mr. Patel gave an update on this serious situation, out pops his little podcast episode!
Governors and commentators, bless their cotton socks, are just beside themselves! The California Governor's press office even chirped on X:
“There’s a mass shooter still on the loose while Keystone Kash’s defunded FBI can’t catch him. But good to know he’s got time to hop on a taxpayer-funded private jet to record a podcast with his girlfriend.”
And another fellow, podcaster Dave DeCamp, added:
“The Brown University killer may still be on the loose, but don't worry, the FBI director is hard at work doing podcasts with his girlfriend.”
Why Grandma Just Can't Even Today: Modern Foolishness!
Oh, sweetie, what is this world coming to? I tell you, I just can't even today with all this modern foolishness!
When I think of the dedication in my day, people worked tirelessly, no fancy long-distance podcasts during a crisis! It's enough to make a gal want to just sit down with a nice cuppa and pretend it's all a bad dream.
Honestly, the nerve! You'd think with such a weighty job, the focus would be entirely on public safety, not on who's making eyes at whom on the airwaves!
Grandma's waiting on your verdict
Pour dear Grandma another cup by tapping how this gossip feels. She can't finish her knitting until you whisper your take.