The Latest Tea-Spill: Trump's Trillion-Dollar Tango!

Oh, sweetie, you will not believe what I heard at the bridge club this week! President Trump, bless his heart, has been running around like a headless chicken, telling anyone who'll listen that his tariffs have brought in a whopping $18 trillion for the United States! Can you even imagine?

Heavens to Betsy, he said it not once, not twice, but several times! At a cabinet meeting, to reporters, in an interview, and even — get this — during the announcement of a peace treaty between Rwanda and the Congo! Who brings up tariffs at a peace treaty, I ask you? Honestly!

Grandma's Eyebrows are Practically Flying Off!

Now, I'm just an old lady, but even I know that $18 trillion is more money than you can shake a stick at! Back in my day, we'd save pennies in a jar, and here he is talking about *trillions* like it's pocket change. It's just a bit… much, don't you think?

Some folks, the poor dears, actually think he means the government collected all that cash in tariffs.

If that were true, honey, I'd be buying a yacht with my social security checks! But no, that's just not how it works, not in the real world anyway.

Let's Get Down to Brass Tacks, Shall We?

Now, let's talk about what actually happened, according to those clever folks who keep track of things. The Treasury Department, bless their little bean-counting hearts, says that over the first eleven months of this year, the federal government collected about $236 billion in tariffs. That's a lot of money, sure, but it's hardly eighteen trillion, is it?

And get this: the whole U.S. imported roughly $3.3 trillion worth of goods last year. To get $18 trillion in tariff revenue, you'd have to tax those imports at nearly 600 percent! Can you imagine the price of my knitting yarn then? It would be utterly impossible, sweetie, utterly impossible.

The confusion, and honestly, the *carelessness*, comes from how the President uses phrases like "we took in." He seems to be lumping together actual government tax revenue with all sorts of *private* investment deals. Investments promised by businesses and even foreign governments!

Those aren't federal funds, dear, those are private dealings. And who's to say they'll even materialize? Or that they wouldn't have happened anyway? It's like mixing my cookie money with the neighbor's lemonade stand earnings and calling it all "Grandma's Fortune." Such a hoot!

Grandma Just Can't Even With These Shenanigans!

Honestly, it makes my head spin! The Trump administration even has its own website, tracking the "Trump effect" on investments. And their *official* tally, as of Monday, was a mere $9.6 trillion. Still a lot, mind you, but where did the other eight-and-a-half trillion go, I wonder?

It's like he's pulling numbers out of a hat at a magic show, darling. And not even a very good magic show! One minute it's $9.6 trillion, the next it's $18 trillion. Oh, sweetie, sometimes I think I'm too old for all this modern-day confusion. I just want my tea and my quiet knitting, not these dizzying financial fables!